Okay, this is totally irrational… I get that. Britney Spears is officially pregnant. Yeah! She will be a young mom and that is great. But in reading this news (even though it has been speculated over the last few weeks) I can’t help but feel my stomach churn. I even went to her website to double check. And yes, it is true.
I just can’t believe that something like Britney Spears (someone I do not admire, look up to or even care about) has had this affect on me- especially today… right when you think your feet are solid on the ground and things are back to “normal” you hear that Britney Fucking Spears gets pregnant … this can really shake one up. It has me. I cannot understand why? Perhaps because she got pregnant and will probably deliver a healthy baby and I got pregnant and my babies died? Yeah, that might have something to do with it.
Our second baby died the week that Julia Roberts came out on the cover of PEOPLE Magazine with her twins. That killed too.
My shell has been re-cracked; opened. I know that I can’t put this away for good. But I can’t believe the MAGNITUDE of strength these feelings of sadness and pain have over me… so strong. So real and painful.
I am sitting at my desk doing everything I can to not crack out loud. IE: Cry, shake, throw up, leave in panic, run, and hide in the bathroom. I am trying to look busy but all I can think about is Britney Spears and her belly.
How messed up. Totally psychologically debilitating… one minute I am contemplating if I want to have a kid or not, the next I am shaking because someone else is pregnant and I am not. All I have is loss.
I am so confused by this.
Apr 12, 2005
How Can Britney Crack My Shell?
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1 comment:
Well I was pissed when I heard she was pregnant too mostly because I just want to smack the shit out of her...The fact that it is a celebrity who will never need to want for anything in her life as far as materialistic or financial security it is totally human to feel those feelings at first...so long as you don't wish harm to her or her unborn..and if you do pray to god about it and ask for forgivness..(if you pray) As long as you don't spend the next 50 years throwing up because Bitchney Spears is pregnant i think your reaction is quite normal and really not all that rare. Now that she had the spawn of "Kevin I can't wear my hat straight" you can say " good luck with those shitty diapers bitch!!" LOL...hope you got a smile out of that one! LOL...I'm so bad!!!
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