Hope

I just hope. I hope for good timing. A round belly. A healthy pregnancy. A bouncing baby. I do hope. Though, I have moments, even days where hope is strained and pessimism sets in like a flu. I hope for a chance to be a Mom and to see my husband as a Dad. What two greater honors are there in this life?

I realize that life is not ALL about becoming pregnant or having a child. I also know that I have seen and done a lot and sure there is more to do... Always more... And I feel in my very being that having a child is not only a gift but it is something I would like to experience in this lifetime. It is something I would feel so blessed to say outloud one day "I am the mother of...." "This is my child."

I know that having a baby will not complete me. I know there is always more to "want" and "need" but I also know that wanting to have a baby after two miscarriages is a really deep want. It is more of a want then it was when I got pregnant and didn't know my babies were going to die. I really WANT to know what it is to be a mother and kiss my child.

So, I have hope today. I see hope. I feel hope. And I also know that sometimes HOPE is all we have.