Hello Baby Kingsley

June 23, 2004


Hello Baby,

Your Mommy has been so tired! All I want to do is sleep. And do! I don’t have a job right now, so I have a huge luxury of being able to sleep almost as much as I want! It is glorious! You are growing inside of me everyday. Now, I think we are at about 7 ½ weeks. I can feel my uterus expand… and I am hungry, even when I just ate! I am reading all the pregnancy books, and really, some of them are informational, but a lot of them keep telling me how “fat” I am going to get and how my ankles are going to look like tree stumps. I look at this differently. I am not going to get “fat”. I am creating a home for you while you grow, and will continue to do so forever. Weather it is inside of me, or outside of me. Growing is just part of the beauty. It means your growing and that is what I want. I always want to watch you grow, and by seeing myself and my tummy expand I will know that you are getting what you need before you come out to play.

Your father is simply exhausted. He is working so hard! He leaves really early in the morning and comes home around 5 or 6 in the evening and he is usually wiped. The good thing about this is that I am beginning to win at Backgammon, our favorite game, as he is too tired to make suitable strategic decisions. This I like. But I miss him when we can’t spend a little quality time together. As our family grows I am sure he and I will have to work at this harder than ever.

Each day for the last few weeks of knowing that I had been lucky enough to have a baby, and that you had joined us, I have been doing my best to be a good mom, even though right now, I just have to do little stuff. I am sorry if you are sick of Bean and Cheese Burritos. Somehow, it is getting me what I need. I hope you aren’t too grossed out! And, I hope you like V-8 juice and cereal. I have such food hang-ups right now. But I am sure I will down some vegetables sooner or later. Yech! I take Luna and Levi to the dog park where they run and play- and they just love it. And then we come home, eat the notorious burrito and then crawl into bed. It really isn’t half bad! At night, since I have slept so much during the day, I am wide-awake, wondering, what am I going to name the baby? Your father and I disagree on a lot of names. But I know we will find the right one for you. I think about what you will be like. And will I get hemorrhoids. I wonder if pregnancy will take long. I mean, I know it takes 9 months, but I wonder if it will go by fast like everything else, or if it will be a slower process, where I have to be patient? Patience is not my strong suit. But you will learn this. Your father is very patient; so we balance one another. And you will learn this also.

On this particular day, I was with your Grandma Liz and your Goddess Mother Amy. We peeked into some stores with baby stuff and just started going bonkers over how cute the outfits were!! We all have to hold ourselves back from buying stuff. I guess, it just isn’t good luck. But let me tell you something little baby, boy or girl, you are going to be one stylish little kid, with that Grandmother Liz of yours!! Her eyeballs were as big as saucers when she saw how far baby and kids clothes had come. I have a feeling you will be wearing a lot if hats and shoes. Hey, she has good taste. Don’t worry.

I love you so much already. I think of you morning, noon and night. You’re my center. Everything I do now, is, because of you, sometimes, running to the bathroom 5 times in single meal setting, it is still I am thinking of you, and not perturbed. What a miracle.

I look forward. And I cross my fingers and toes that you are bouncing around in there with a little smile. And that you can hear the laughter out here. And that you know when the dogs are curled up to my belly. I bet it gets extra warm in there when they do that, and they do it every day and night. They must know. So bounce away baby. I am here.

I love you,
Mommy