Baby Kingsley Died

July 16th, 2004


Dear Little Baby,

You died. You died about two and a half weeks ago. Today, I would have been 11 weeks pregnant with you. Somehow, we lost you along the way and your little soul has left us. We are devastated. Your little life inside my belly made my heart flutter and gave me such purpose. Your father never worked harder, and had new inspiration to make life for you and for us, the best possible. I know these things happen. They always say “life isn’t fair” and boy, whoever they are, they are RIGHT!

We lost you, but we will never forget you, ever. You taught us so much. Our love for one another has grown more than I ever thought possible. You taught me about silence and peace, and to just sit a while with my thoughts before acting. You taught me patience….which is a big one. Each day, I had to be patient with my body, with it’s changes and with the constant nagging thought that something could go wrong. But I kept the faith. And, still, something just wasn’t right.

What I have learned the most, is how lucky I am. I am so lucky to have met your father and to have found the kind of love in him and with him that some, only dream of. I feel blessed that I have a healthy body, and can conceive again, hopefully.

With you , we learned that we could get pregnant, and be loving and caring parents.
I learned what I want out of life. Thanks to you, I know that I want to be a Mom and that being a MOM will be the most important job of my life. Before I got pregnant with you, I didn’t know. I knew that it was what “people did” and that I thought it would be cool to have a baby. I liked kids, always have. But now, I know. I know that I would get pregnant tomorrow if I could and I would do it all over again. And, I am praying that we will have the chance.

But you little one, your soul has taken flight. For that I am more sad than I have ever been in my life. Your father is too. The people that were ready and excited to welcome you into this world have all shared their sorrow with us. We have a good family and great friends around us. I will always know you. I will always be grateful for you. I will always think of you. And I will always, always love you.

Good Bye Little Kingsley,
Love
Mommy.