Shits & Giggles

I have successfully held several babies in the last few weeks. Without crying or feeling envious or sad. I have seen big pregnant bellies... and will admit that I was a little envious of that. I have heard screaming babies... and I have to say... I am NOT envious of that.
I think about pregnancy every day. I think about my miscarriages, every day. I have gotten to a place where I believe I am "healed" enough to try again soon. I am glad I have waited.

Tonight, just for shits and giggles, I peed on a stick. Now, I KNEW I wasn't pregnant because it would be an absolute bloody miracle, immaculate conception if I was... But there is something about seeing two pink lines that excites me. I guess this is me just wishful thinking.

Life goes on. But it ain't easy. Getting through the last two losses has been such a journey. Such a trial. I cannot believe how amazingly strong women are... we really do have some serious strength.

Anyway... life moves... time passes. I never forget the little ones. Not even in my dreams.